yellow

my night

Tessa’s standing here reenacting Breaking Dawn for me, although she knows I’ve already read it. With each word, she gets more and more excited, inching closer to where I’m seated on my bed.

“It all starts with Bella and Edward’s epic love scene. They have sex.”

She would.

“And Bella gets pregnant! Only this isn’t any normal baby. It’s a vampire baby. So it’s way more violent and stuff. And Bella goes through a HELL of a pregnancy. I mean, Bella’s baby has some magical power. What is it? WHAT IS IT?! I can’t think of it!”
“Telepathy.”
“No. It’s something else.”
“No…I’m sure it’s telepathy.”
“That’s not it! I love these books. I know.”

Five minutes later, she’s risen from her chair and is pacing two feet away from me.

“So, there’s just bunches of werewolves and vampires. And the Volturi, they’re just there. They see Carlisle’s huge vampire army and go ‘Woah. Well then.’ And there just are a lot of vampires.”

Two minutes later, she has a knee on my bed and is emphatically shaking her hands above her head.

“And then Bella bends her little mind power. And none of the Volturi’s magical powers work! Only Jasper, with his emotion thing. And Bella realizes this, so she breaks through the bonds holding her! SHE BREAKS THROUGH! And you see a wave of smoke stuff coming towards everybody, but!! It doesn’t work! And the Volturi are like “What?! Fuck!” And there’s this big huge fight…and, yeah. Bella was told to get in the mountains…no. Wait. Bella is still a human, for some reason. Um. Maybe that was Eclipse. Well, anyways, Jacob kind of imprints on the daughter. I forget her name…”
“Renesmee.”
“Oh. Right. And so…I’d feel lucky if I was that baby. You know. With Jacob being so hot and all. Breaking Dawn is so action packed! I was reading the book like, ‘Yeahhh!’”

I am laughing so hard.

“I mean, I don’t know! I just love this. I love this series!! And I think the movies are killing it,” she sighs.

Still laughing.

my heart my heart my heart

Every time I research climate change, deforestation, destruction of natural resources, etcetera, etcetera—my heart hurts. Partly because it seems that attempting to solve the issue is futile, and partly because I don’t know how to help.

How do we save the world?

Literally.

How can we save this Earth?

I want to go hiking; I want to backpack the entire Appalachian Trail. I want to camp on a mountain; I want to pee in the woods. I want my hair thick with grease and grime, and I want my nails so dirty I’m close to tears. I want to feel the pull of muscles and suffer countless aches and pains. I want to fall asleep with rocks in my back and wake to a chorus of birds. I want chilled sunlight illuminating my tent and the stars splayed across the night sky. I want to rest on a cabin’s top bunk and read trail logs at picnic tables. I want iodine water and GORP; I want a towering canopy of trees and switchbacks racing up a mountain and boulders and cliffs and dirt in my shoes.

I miss nature.

philomel:

aubade:

crashinglybeautiful:

What was love? A wind whispering among the roses, no, a yellow phosphorescence in the blood. Love was a hot devil’s music that set even the hearts of old men dancing. It was like the marguerite, which opens wide as night comes on, and it was like the anemone, which closes at a breath and dies at a touch.

Such was love.

It could ruin a man, raise him up again, and then brand him anew; it could fancy me today, you tomorrow, and someone else tomorrow night, that’s how fickle it was. But it could also hold fast like an unbreakable seal and blaze with unquenchable passion until the hour of death, because it was eternal. So, what was the nature of love?

[…

…]

Love is God’s first word, the first thought that sailed through his brain. When he said, “Let there be light!” there was love. And everything that he made was very good, and no part thereof did he wish undone. And love became the world’s beginning and the world’s ruler; but all its ways are full of flowers and blood, flowers and blood.

— from Victoria, Knut Hamsun
(Beautiful. Thanks 5 Branch Tree)

I am incredibly sad. I ignored my English project until the last minute, as per usual, but this time, I want to deeply focus on my topic (not as per usual). The two page paper I can do, quite easily, even if its deadline is five pm. It’s keeping the paper at two pages that will be the difficult part.

I have always joked that I would find a way to major in James Bond’s character study. And here we are with this gigantic English project and very few free hours left in my day. Why do I do this!

I’m going to pull an all-nighter watching 3 Bond movies from three different decades, comparing the actors’ portrayals to Flemming’s original Bond, and analyzing each actor’s interaction with the Bond girls. How do they change over the decades? Bond is always, despite changing times, the ideal specimen of masculinity and a complete misogynist, so what better individual to study for a gender relations class than James Bond?

My schedule today is a mess.